Dear Mother and Father,
I am sorely disappointed in your thoughtless decision to abandon me in my crib before I A)gave you permission to do so, and B)before you asked my opinion on the matter. In my heart, I believe I had unfinished milk in my sippy cup.
Because of your actions, I have no choice but to Occupy Said Crib. You see, I am the 1%. I expect to get what I want just by voicing my displeasure loudly. I plan to Occupy Said Crib until I die, or am carried away. I also plan to use diapers, if necessary, to prolong my protest.
Sincerely with my left hand on a stack of ABC books,
Jamie Lyn
